Stealthily drinking my fathers rum
And knowing you’d disapprove,
Saying you wouldn’t want me escaping from reality,
Now I know that you already had,
Through her lips.
That your escape route was printed on the roadmap to
The canyon between HER thighs,
And don’t be fooled,
I’m not drunk on tears,
I am caught in a space between
The promises you begged to fill it with.
I’m not escaping from reality,
But from your voice echoing in my mind
whispering I no longer have to fear for the worst,
That it is already a thing of the past.
I gave you everything,
“More than you could ever know”
And it’s not that I’m mad you have it,
Its that you put a price on what I
A scale to measure
What was already yours.
It’s that you blamed me for cloudy days while
You were trying to run from storms,
And as you played God creating them,
You made believe I was the one striking at you
But you’ve forgotten how I marvel at the sky.
Even within my withered soul
I love the rain,
And not for what it brings to me,
But for how
After being your very desert,
She has never forsaken me.
For how after being the drought that dried your tongue,
It was not for lack there of,
But because you chose to continue looking for water in wastelands.
I am a valley or meadow,
And I loved the way you see the wildflowers growing in me,
But you never tended them
You only planted your own in my veins
And expected gardens to appear on my skin.
You have wanted to see life in me,
You have wanted to watch colors grow,
But even weeds have flowers,
And they were there all along